Balance

Making different decisions when the madness of who I am is clouded by what I am used to?

Making different decisions when the madness of who I am is clouded by what I am used to?

Change is a fickle concept. Far too often we entrap ourselves in the embodiment of our created security and ego. Sure, we can make different decisions about the food that we eat from day to day, or the people we’ll talk with from one moment to the next, but what about when real change is needed? When at the crux of continuing down a familiar and constant trail that is potentially leading nowhere or embarking on an entirely unknown path, so unknown that you’re not even sure where to start; then how does one make different decisions when the madness of who they are becomes clouded by what they are used to?

I am striving for change. I keep trying to do stuff that I am not normally used to doing in an effort to affect change in myself, my life and my perception. Maybe I am not doing enough, or maybe I, at times, end up over doing it. As I look back on the past 8 – 9 months that I’ve been laid off, I am questioning if I have really done anything truly different or not. I started my own personal blog and wrote about a few personal aspects of my life as well as the ambiguous nature of being unemployed for the first time. I have opened up to more people in my life who, only a few years ago, I more than likely would not have done so. I know that I had to also let some people in my life go. I felt they were more of a detriment to my progress. It’s not that I dislike them, but one can only have so much negativity in their life when things outside of that relationship also seem a bit negative. You can succumb to that way of thinking if you do not anchor yourself appropriately. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I stand firm that it was the right decision. Yet, letting people go in our lives is not something that is new to anyone. Sometimes it’s easy to point out the change needed in other people’s lives, but when it’s your face looking back at you, it is not something that’s easily done. I know that unless I do something drastic, it won’t take a drastic turn, but I don’t believe that type of urgency is needed. After all, it’s persistence that I am going for.

Given all of this, one can not have change without having a counterweight to that change. Something that still holds you steady and true. Right now, my “striving for change” is landing my next job/career opportunity. I have been putting a lot of focus on that. There has been a week here and there that I’ve said, “Screw it, I’m taking a break from all of this searching”. However, I am feeling like I am beating the proverbial dead horse over and over again, and not progressing anywhere. What I have failed to realize or take note of is the key issue of: balance. In failing to recognize this concept, I forgot about the fact that life looks for equilibrium. It’s a teetering effect, put too much weight on one side and everything comes tumbling down.

I have been ignoring it. Indirectly pursuing it. And overall stifling it.

There’s constant shifting in our lives and in the effect that our lives have on all things outside of our being due to, and in lack of, balance. Our shifts produce their own unique ripples that transcend and eclipse those created by others that you know, others that they know, and so on. In the end, there will be balance and we will find our own equilibrium in life. It just takes time and effort to get there. I haven’t been lacking in the time or the effort, but in balancing this out with the rest of my life. Lately, I’ve been venturing out more, rather then just staying in. I hid behind the veil of “trying to keep my expenses low” or “not having a purpose to go out”. The time for that has come to an end. It came to an end a while ago, and it’s only now that I’ve come to the point of writing about it.

What we do, how we do it and how we think manifests outside of us and if the external situation or that which surrounds us is the aspect that we want to change, then we have to bring the focus back on to ourselves in order to change our interaction with it. All the time I spent staying in for the reasons I convinced myself to do so, created an imbalance in my life. I prevented myself from engaging others and meeting new people, going out to get something as simple as fresh air, challenging myself to break past my insecurities and find entirely new experiences. When we allow ourselves to move past what we are used to, then that madness of being clouded in our own self-absorption begins to secede. And when that happens, then the change that we seek happens. But it only comes about with being in tandem with those new experiences and that, which we are seeking.

That, in itself, is balance.

——-@ds

**Elements of balance was originally included on a post of mine on my former Myspace blog, which has been fully removed, on March 28, 2008.  Edited and updated, July 22, 2009.

Spouting 8: Really?

A month or so back, I was on Linkedin commenting on a topic that I had initially started and someone posted something of interest about job searching. The gentleman brought up a situation that had happened to him and in it, he proposed the idea of offering yourself for free to a company in exchange for either: being considered for a future position later; references to jobs that you are still applying and seeking, and/or the benefit of keeping your skills abreast with the changes in the work environment. I thought the idea had some potential usefulness.

I recently came back to this idea and thought, “why not”. During this time of being laid off and the countless applications for positions, networking through my contacts and etc… not one of the employers have found me worthy enough to hire. That’s been very frustrating, because I can’t recall a time in my life where I was unable to find a job for a stretch of time as long as it currently has been. There was only one time before that I was out of work for just about 3-months, but that was because my internship with Disney on their College Program came to an end. That has been the only other time that I have been remotely in a similar situation. And, yes, I know that many others are going through this and that it is not just me. But it is still frustrating, nonetheless.

With that being said, I reread the post on Linkedin that spoke about offering your services for free and I decided to give it a shot. I saw a job in my field that was asking for an intern for the summer with the *possibility* of being brought on. I thought, “What better an opportunity to offer myself to a place than one that is seeking an intern to begin with”.

A short time later I received the standard reply that my resume has been received and that it will be looked over to see if it meets their needs. I couldn’t believe that in offering myself for free, it didn’t even yield a phone interview. I’m hoping that I am actually being considered, sort of like I’m hoping on all the countless jobs I’ve applied to (of which some responses are just now coming in and they have all been “no” so far). I know that this wasn’t a no, but I have a lingering sensation that it was indeed a “no”. I think my jaw almost dropped. I just lifted it back up.

Am I not even good enough for free?

Really?

——-@ds

Addendum:

This won’t deter me; the mission continues…  

Fallacy

You want me smarter or dumber?

I’ve started thinking about the idea regarding dumbing one’s resume down. The idea behind this is for an individual to have a resume that employers wouldn’t see as being over qualified. I already have a personal pet peeve with the statement, “over qualified”. In my opinion, when I hear “over qualified” I immediately want to respond, “Then that means I am more than capable of handling the tasks of this position, so what’s the problem?” It is a poor, subjective reason to justify overlooking or deciding against an applicant, while providing no real reason for the decision. If I want to take and/or apply for a position that is a step or two lower then my skill set, shouldn’t that be my prerogative? And if it is, then why would anyone not consider someone simply on the basis of being more qualified for the position? I’m aware that many companies and hiring managers seem to have this belief that if they hire someone that is over qualified, then that means the individual is only using the job as a filler until they find another opportunity that is more complementary of their skill set. There’s also the second idea that the company believes they will have to pay more for the individual, but isn’t that part of what salary negotiating is about? I understand this line of thinking, but I also understand that it is not true in every case. When I apply for a position that I may be somewhat over qualified for, I’m actually looking at it as an opportunity to learn more in a specific area that the position addresses and use it as a means to enter a company to grow within. Isn’t this a fundamental idea behind career development and growth within a company?

When I look at my resume, I do not see how it is over qualified for any of the positions that I’ve applied for, but I have a heard a number of times now that this is the case. This has now led me to reconsider the content that is contained in my resume. The sad thing is that no one should actually have to consider revising their resume when it is correct in its representation and accurate with regard to their professional experience, and applicable for the job that they are applying to. This isn’t a stance against tailoring your resume so it more aptly reflects the job you’re pursuing, but simply the aspect of taking information from it or altering it in such a way that it makes you appear less qualified then you really are. It also seems to suggest a bit of a contradiction as to what employers really want. If it’s true that they want someone that is intelligent, capable, sound, driven, knowledgeable and experienced; then isn’t the idea surrounding dumbing one’s resume down a conflict in principle? And why should someone have to present themselves in a false manner in an effort to underplay their skill set, for an employer that is claiming to be looking for the best and brightest? Is it that they want the best and brightest liars?

I do not believe that anyone should have to under represent themselves in order to achieve what they are seeking, yet, I understand why people do it. I understand why people feel like they have to do it. It’s something that I am now grappling with and I don’t like it. I don’t want to under represent myself. I simply want a fair chance for what I am seeking. When people have been employed and have lied about their experience and certifications to gain the employment, only to be found out later to be fraudulent, they’re usually promptly fired, regardless of how well they may have performed the duties associated with their position. However, companies do not seem to have a problem with doing this exact same thing, but in reverse. If a person applies for a job and claims to have a masters degree and 15 years of experience, when they really only have an associates degree and 3 years of experience; while another person who may have a masters degree and 20 years of experience, but under represents their qualifications, then what really is the difference? Personally, I don’t believe there is anything different between someone who under represents and a person who over represents their self, because in both instances it’s a matter of spinning around the issue. I wonder if companies simply want to buy into the idea that applicants appear less qualified, while hoping that they are able to bring more to the table. Again, this is pure hypocrisy. If you want someone with more to offer then get the person who is offering more, rather then someone who feels forced into lowering their skill set in an effort to meet a level of standards that are not even being upheld. Standards. That’s what this is all about. Given all of this, I’m now at a conundrum where I either continue with my resume as it is and maintain my principals or “dumb it down”. It’s a decision that I am not happy with having to face, but the real decision that companies need to face is: Do you want your applicants smarter or dumber?

Feedback or opinions on the post? I’m all ears, share them here!

——-@ds

Thank You Letter

Handwritten or Email?

After my most recent interview, I started to sit down and write a thank you letter to the interviewer on one of my “thank you” cards that I purchased a while back. After realizing that my penmanship (when writing in a very small space) has taken a hit after all these years of sending emails, messaging, texting and etc… I began to wonder if sending out a hand written thank you card even matters any more. Is it even considered more meaningful then sending exactly what you are writing as an email?

By sending it as an email, it’s instantaneous and clear. There’s no issue of wondering if the writing is legible or coming across in a professional manner. You also do not have to worry if it was “lost in the mail” or shuffled into some indiscriminate pile at the employer’s office. In contrast, when sending a hand written letter, it’s more personal and shows that you took the time to think about the person. It also reflects that you’re willing to physically write out and mail your note to them. Yet, I still find that I spend the same amount of time thinking about what I am going to say, whether I am writing or emailing it. That part does not change. The difference for me is the time it takes to actually pen the note by hand and in my case the effort I went through to ensure it was professional looking.

To compensate for my penmanship and the fact that it was angling downward to the right side, I realized that when time and money permits, I need to go and involve myself in a penmanship class to correct this issue. I also had to use a ruler and a pencil to outline very faint lines to keep my writing straight. Further, in an effort to ensure my penmanship looked cleaner, I wrote out my note in pencil in a very light manner and then traced over that with the actual pen. Later, I used an eraser to remove all the pencil markings.

However, this attention to detail and care is not something that will be noticed by the employer. In an interview prior to this last one, I didn’t send out a thank you card, instead I sent out an email to the three people that interviewed me and I can tell you that I didn’t get a better or worse response with the emailed “thank you” letter vs. the handwritten attempt. So, the question still remains, does it really matter to mail out a handwritten “thank you” letter after an interview or is email a fully acceptable manner to send such a letter, with the exception of those niche people that may actually consider the hand written note a reflection on a person’s professionalism and quality?

——-@ds

Ouch: Oh and one other thing, I need to buy better pens cause my middle finger was destroyed after pressing so hard on the pen I was using to write with. Any high quality (and very comfortable), pen suggestions? :-p

Spouting 5: D'oh!

Just making a minor post today. A couple of weeks ago, as many of you know and some probably didn’t know, I interviewed for a job with a local ad agency in Orlando, FL. The position was for a Client Services Manager and the interview went very well as it touched on all the major points that I was interested and/or concerned about. I felt that I represented myself very well. I was told that I would receive a call back by today. True to the owner’s word, I received that call and although I can not say that my search for my career is over, I can say that it was the most pleasant phone call one could receive when being turned down for a position. The owner was very kind in the reason why I wasn’t chosen and where most places really do not say anything or very little, I at least obtained beneficial information. I gave myself only three minutes to feel “down” about it (okay, maybe it was more like 5 minutes, and yes, for those that know me, this was a direct rip from the first episode of LOST), but I refused to let it shift my attitude from the positive experience I had with the interviews (the phone and face to face) and the follow-up phone call. I thanked the owner for the call back, stated that if anything changes or if the new hire doesn’t work out, that I would still be interested. I was told in kind that my resume and information would be kept and should anything come across in the future, I will be kept in mind. Although it is with regret that I didn’t earn the opportunity, this has not stopped me from my quest of running without condition. I will continue my career search and looking for the next best chance to “jumpstart my career“. 

I also tend to look at this in another way. While it is true that I am out of the running for this position and that 1-3 other people are still vying for the opportunity (to whom I wish them well); once one of those three obtain the position, that will be one less person for me to compete with for the next career opportunity, even though I would have preferred being the one chosen for the position. So I shall persist onward. I think it is far too easy for one to feel down (even hurt) about losing out on a great opportunity. Not only the opportunity to end the almost 8-month unemployment status that I’ve had (with many people being out of work even longer), but also the opportunity to have a fresh start. It’s much harder to maintain a positive attitude, accept the loss, firm up and commit yourself to moving forward; without any regrets. For me, it’s all I really have. I can either sulk or I can be proactive. I choose the latter.

——-@ds